I keep debating if I want to delete my Substack. As I reflect on what’s holding me back, I realize it’s the idea of being seen. Scratch that. Admired. Strangers will never truly see me. Online me is always to some degree curated. It’s impossible for it not to be. And in many ways I hate that.

And I like the idea of making money on my writing. But I also despise that idea. Why must we commodify everything? Who can afford it? Fuck Substack taking a cut.

But then again, am I alone perpetuating the capitalism I hate so much?

Do I not have bills to pay?

I already work for a rather large global corporation. But my time in academia showed me that’s really not any better.

The hypocrisy.

It’s weird to live in a society where often so much is at odds with my true values and morals.

The cognitive dissonance.

I can’t exactly go off grid and homestead without some starting capital. Or can I?

Should I just move to an already established commune? Are there any that aren’t weird cults?